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We have three basic “voices” in our lives; our happy voice, which is a bit higher in pitch; our intimate voice which is close to if not a whisper, and; our angry voice, what I call your assertive Mommy Voice. Unfortunately, many women seem to lose this voice especially when giving a persuasion presentation.
This is not a discussion about the interplanetary communication between the sexes, which does not exist. In fact, there are men who present a non-assertive front, but not to the extent as women. Women are ‘taught” by society to be subservient, quiet and not to complain, and this training shows its ugly head when many are giving a public argument.
Though interplanetary communication books talk about male and female speak, I do not like the terms. So let’s talk about Type A communication, which is based on physical dominance, competition, and an “I can fix anything with duct tape attitude. (Duck Tape is a brand name.) Type B communication is illustrated by cooperation, physical connections, and a “sharing” of experience, wanting to listen, not to fix.
Your Mommy Voice is not yelling; that is your “I’m pissed off and I don’t care if Social Services takes the kids away” voice. Your Mommy Voice is direct, dropped in tone by a note or two, quiet (but not a whisper), a bit slower, and with the appropriate non-verbals, such as looking directly at your target, and furled brows. The Daddy Voice is almost identical. Read more: Where is your Mommy Voice?